Livin'

Long story short: after 5 days of staying with a friend, we are finally in our new apt.

I'm having fun! I painted the kitchen turquoise blue yesterday, while listening to Edie Piaf.

Its a great space. You can see the Empire State and Chrysler buildings outside our window. I didnt really notice that before bc I was so angry....!

I realized this morning, as I wrote my morning pages, that life is like a work of art. You have to trust the process of it. Sure, you have goals or things you want to accomplish. Like when you set out to paint something on canvas - you have an idea of what you want. But then you have to let that go and trust the process of your work, your life. Breathe. Dont worry. Let it evolve and go with each stroke.

I share this from experience. Trying to force my life into places I thought it should go only made me very exhausted. I'm too tired for that these days. Thank God!!

(morning pages: 3 pages of whatever is on your mind! Brain drain, dealing with something, fiction....whatever comes up. Its like meditating. Very therapeutic!)

I starting painting on canvas using oil yesterday. Never done that before. Fun! I found myself enjoying - and being much less critical.

Tonight: Writing class. Continuing work on my solo piece. I'm somehow very relaxed about it. Dont need to get it "right." Just enjoy! Oh, and a little scared too --

Its good to be scared. A reminder that I do have a pulse.

I'm living! L-I-V-I-N