A film I did getting some exposure!

A film I did a little while ago is getting some action. It won Best Feature Film at a couple of festivals recently.

There's a screening here in New York in October and an awards dinner I'll have to go to. This will be good for me to have to get out there and meet people and stand behind my work, publicly - something I usually shy away from - but am getting more comfortable with. I had to do a photoshoot last week - apparently, since the film is catching some buzz, they wanted to create a new movie poster. (which is good, the last one I saw, I looked constipated!)

I shot this film a couple of years ago. Such is the life of an actor. You shoot something, give it your heart, and hope for the best. You never know. And then the healthy thing to do is to let it go and move on to the next project. A lot of things you never hear anything about. Hell, some of them you never even see. Some of them you don't want to see. :) And then, every now and then there is something you are really proud of.

While this film certainly isnt flawless - I'm really proud of it. I met such amazing people that I still keep in touch with to this day. Some of them have brought me in to other projects. I got my SAG card because of this film.

You dont ever want to take any of that for granted.

My Road to My Agency

Some of my friends have asked me how I got to work with the agency I am currently with, so I thought I'd blog about it here to share the wealth:

1) First, I decided it was high time and that I deserved to have one. And not just anyone, a good one. Its typically easier to get a commercial agent then it is to get a legit agent, and although commercial work is not my ultimate goal, I'm certainly open to the idea of doing commercial work these days. Whateva pays the bills....

So, before I went and spent money on taking classes, or a "one on one," (a one on one is where you pay about $30 to meet an agent/manager/casting director)......I decided to do a mailing, (most economical route first) since I've had some friends who had luck in doing so. I dont recommend doing huge mass mailings often, (too time consuming and expensive) but I think targeted smaller ones cannot hurt every now and then.

2) I decided to mail to the 4 biggest agencies in New York - the agencies that have both a commercial AND legit dept. I had a really kick ass cover letter. I had things to talk about. (I'd recently almost booked a Pantene commercial my manager sent me out on) I told them about my "almost" booked work, my film work, some recent callbacks that I'd had and some namey auditions I'd been out on. All that stuff will help your cause. Sometimes you can be so busy that you forget how much you've really accomplished until you sit and write it down. All the "close calls." Instead of getting frustrated about not booking a job, turn that callback into ammunition for getting an agent or updating a casting director. Close calls turn heads!

3) Luckily, I have a manager. So I got her involved. I had her review my coverletter and give feedback. Then I put together a "press kit" for myself that included: a nice folder with my acting reel, 3-4 different headshots, my comp card (modeling card) and my manager's biz card. I addressed them all as though they came directly from my manager, with the coverletter attached to the outside of the folder.

4) And we got some interest. I came in, met with one of the commercial agents I'd mailed to, then had a second meeting with their entire commercial dept. Now I am signed with them.

The only thing I can say about meetings with agents: not to want it too badly. To go in, be yourself, have certain questions ready to answer such as:

-- what have you been up to lately?

-- which casting directors already know you?

-- review your resume in case they ask questions about specific projects

And generally, just be real and upbeat. Don't talk about or even hint about "how hard" it can be at times. No one wants to hear about that. (And sure, it can be tough, but then there are the ups too and you have to train yourself to focus on the ups instead - chin up!!) And dont "talk down" something you did like its no big deal. You dont need to exaggerate either, but just keep it genuinely positive.

Sidenote: Look amazing! Like you are going on a hot date or to a screening where you know you'll have your picture snapped. Hair and makeup in check. Get plenty of sleep. Do some yoga before. Buy a new outfit if you can - whatever you can do to feel really good about yourself.

5) I really love my commercial agency - and after a few months together, I asked my commercial agent if he felt comfortable passing my info onto their legit dept. I was lucky - he was incredibly supportive, so I put the same kit together for him to pass on that I'd originally sent to him in the first place. He was even kind enough to give me feedback on my letter before handing it over. He wanted to be sure that their legit dept saw me as a film and theater actress - so he advised me NOT to talk about my commercial or modeling work. (to this day there is still some snobbery about commercial actors not being good legit actors, which is not the case of course)

6) This legit agent called my manager when he received my package, I had a first interview, then recently a second one (again, refer to the advice above for holding this sort of meeting). We havent signed anything, but we are working together for a while to "see how it goes."

Some further advice about this:

--if you are writing a coverletter and feel like you have "nothing to talk about." What's that about? Give yourself time - BE PATIENT. Keep at it - keep self-submitting yourself, keep getting involved in readings, friend's projects, different organizations. Keep doing it! You'll soon gather a body of work, you'll get auditions and even callbacks and then YOU WILL have things to talk about.

--"I dont have a manager yet to help me out:" Just write the letter and send it in yourself. BUT - in a few days (I'd say no more than a week), call and follow up. Don't be afraid to do this - these people put on pants the same way you do each morning. They are not super human. You'd be surprised at how nice these folks can be. You are simply making a business transaction. Another good tip: place your material in a brightly colored envelope. So when they say "hmmmm.....I dont know if we got it yet," you can say "its in a bright red envelope."

Another sidenote: It may seem like this worked out so easily for me, but I've met with agents I would NEVER want to be with. One actually said to me, "who the fuck do you think you are, Naomi fucking Campbell??" (ok - this is a rare occasion and I was new to the city....this agent is known to be crazy!!) Another told me I wasnt "pretty enough." (that's when I learned to actually put some effort into my makeup/hair/wardrobe) And you bet that hurt! But hindsight, I'm happy NOT to be working with that agency, and it freed me up so I could be with the one I am with - and they are 1000 times better!

I hope this helps and that the above didnt scare you. You gotta get used to getting knocked down and getting right back up again. Being able to laugh about it all and not make it any more important than it really is. Cause in the grand scheme, its not that important. Having close friends and family is what's REALLY important.

There is no right or wrong way to go about these things. You have to find YOUR WAY. Relax. If you are committed to this work as a lifestyle, you'll find a way to do it. And its different for each of us. It sounds so cliche - but you must always be true to yourself and do what feels right for YOU.

;)

Good luck!

Recent Work

So, after all this time of "doing less," vacation, and reflecting, I am recharged and ready for fall - really excited about it. And I intend to follow through with my current projects with less "efforting" and more relaxation, via yoga, gym, meditation and eating well.

There are some exciting things "in the fryer" :

I'm co-producing a film starring Melissa Leo (2009 Oscar nominee - Frozen River) and Peter Gerety (The Wire). I feel very fortunate to be part of this project - Its a great script - very meaty. I'll learn a shitload and of course, I can't wait to see these actors work.

My one person piece is having a run at a theater here in New York end of October. I am performing and producing this with 3 other talented actors. We had our first production meeting tonight - its gonna be a lot of work - but oh so fun to be on stage again!

I had a second meeting with a really good legit agent (agent for TV, film and theater) and we are going to start working together. It's about time I started getting out there a little more with a good agency behind me.

Am shooting a film during October. Really excited about the part and the shooting style. The director is giving us a lot of freedom, and its a part I'm really looking forward to.

Considering I'll have auditions here and there, this is more than enough for me for fall. Although, lately I am feeling the need to write again - back to that ----

At Ease

Met a yogi while I was away on vacation and we became friends. She reminded me to practice my spirituality everyday. Her point was:

We work everyday, we exercise every day (some of us), we eat every day. Why wouldnt you make time every day to get quiet and give thanks when its so important?

So, I've been keeping that in mind since I've been back. And I have to say, I feel really awesome. At peace. Things that used to seem so urgent are minor. I've been going to yoga almost every day, meditating.....making time to go to meditation classes. And taking care of my body - hitting the gym and running - even though most of the time I dont want to. :)

This is my priority: my health and my spirituality. This and being there for my friends - really listening - instead of wanting to talk non-stop about myself. :)

And you know what? I seem to get more done.....when I'm not sitting around thinking about what I want and "dont have," packing my calendar, watching the clock bc I'm running late to my next appointment. Stressing about my future. Its like my entire life has more room to breath. I dont watch my bank account constantly - worried about money. And somehow, I seem to have enough. Especially when I spend it on others - instead of me me me me me.

I think I might have loosened my grip. Whatever it is, thank the goodness!

Juicy Stuff from a Yogi

Points my yoga teacher made in yesterday's class that I thought were really awesome:

-- Selfishness leads to struggling.....and struggling leads to selfishness. This really hit me bc I'm at a place in my life where I'm really making it a point to be more attentive of the needs of people around me, instead of me me me me me. Moments in my life when I was really struggling, I was pretty selfish, and when I was selfish, you got it - I really struggled.

-- Yoga starts off as a selfish practice, but then it becomes a selfless practice. Sometimes you need to be selfish so you can become more selfless.

-- There are 2 major emotions we spend our time in: Love and fear. I realized I spend a lot of my energy being fearful about things. So, I decided to focus on the love of all things, especially those where I am fearful.

I first practiced this right there in class: when I was on my yoga mat, I noticed how fearful I am while doing handstands in the middle of the room, and that fear holds me back, I can't seem to balance. And it makes me feel unhappy. As soon as I realized this, and place my intention on how much I LOVE doing handstands.....guess what? I kicked up and stayed up. And what was so interesting about it was the change in my energy: it was like the dark, fearful cloud had lifted. I was lighter. I wasnt worried. Nothing was standing there in my way.

I totally believe that what we yogi's do on our yoga mats is a metaphor for what is going on in our lives. And an opportunity to work with whatever is going on with us while on our mats, so that we can carry the changes and reflections into every day life. For instance, when I am feeling all over the place, unbalanced and overwhelmed, my balancing poses are off. I am wobbling around all over the place. When I am rushing through life or crazed with work and personal things, I often find my breathing is labored. When I zone out in class, I'm usually zoning out more in my day to day and I know I need more yoga and to relax.

One area in my day to day life where I know I can practice this switch from fear to love is: with auditions! I realized this is one area of my life that I pay way too much attn to my fear of it, instead of the love - the love of acting, the love of working on craft, the love of working on a character, the love of booking a part and working!

And remembering to simply have fun. If we are not having fun in life, what's the point, really??

;)

Lessons from a Meditation Retreat

My sister went on a meditation retreat with my mom (seems all the women in my family, by pure coincidence, are meditating these days) and is a new person. Here's some things she told me she learned that I thought were very interesting and helpful:

-- she's recently having problems with a friend of her's (jealousy, judging them, etc) and the "head monk" told her that we are here to support our friends. And that's it! We are not here to judge them. We are here to be the best friend to them that we can be.

-- we all have the opportunity to start each day with a "clean slate." That means NOT holding grudges, not beating ourselves up over something in the past. We can start over each day - and let go.

-- because we are able to have a clean slate each day, people who have hurt us in the past deserve a clean slate too! Letting go and freeing ourselves of people who have hurt us in the past actually frees us - in the end we end up getting just as much out of this as the person we forgive. We arent walking around with the burden of harboring ill feelings toward the person who hurt us. We are free.

-- when someone criticizes you or hurts you with words - words are just sounds. When this happens, acknowledge that they are just sounds, and then let them go. Or when you have negative thoughts - your thoughts are just things. They are not you. Acknowledge that your thought is just a "thing," and then let it go.

Vacation Epiphanies

On my vacation I had a few surprises:

I discovered I didnt need to write. I found that writing actually helps me relax and focus - and I didnt need that while on a very relaxing vacation. So I didnt write a thing! I also wanted to live fully in each moment - instead of reflecting so much about it through my writing.

I didnt meditate either. I was so relaxed - we were out in the middle of nowhere, that I didnt feel the need to meditate.

I am very competitive and a pretty sore loser. We played cards (I came in second). We played table tennis (and playing with a bunch of tennis players, I sucked, and no longer wanted to play! What a weenie!!)

And something I was reminded of:

I NEED to travel. I'm a nomad at heart. I love learning about different cultures, talking to people.....living in different energies. Getting outside of my comfort zone and realizing I'll be ok. Its so important - to see that there is the whole big world out there - to remain open minded and curious about the world.....

I came back from this little getaway deciding 3 things:

1) I really want to take care of my body and mind. I have back pain that has become excruciating at times, due to scoliosis. Its hard for me to go out at night and sit at a nice long meal.....so its time to buckle down and get serious about taking care of this. So, I'm committed more than ever to strengthening my body by working out and doing pilates and yoga. Fortunately, I found a center in the city that has yoga classes for people with scoliosis - I'm really learning a lot about my body and what I can do to lessen the pain and strengthen my back. And its nice to be around and talk to people with similar issues.

For the mind: that's easy - Meditation!!

2) I'm committed to doing LESS. And being ok with that. You know - the "less is more" theory.

3) I'm committed to learning German. So I can speak to my in-laws.

Vacation always seems to bring some clarity.

"Getting Quiet" aka Listening to Your Inner Voice

I am back from vacation feeling relaxed, recharged and generally just grateful for all the good things in my life. Even for the moments that are tough - those are good lessons!

More on my vacation epiphanies later ----

But for now I am procrastinating rereading a script. That is a sure sign that I am not interested in the project. And I would be doing those involved a disservice by taking the part, they deserve someone who is excited. So, I know my answer......

I'm feeling better about my decision to NOT take on work at times. I used to, like most actors first starting out, take (almost) anything that came my way. And there was a time for that - I needed experience back then. And I had some kick ass experiences and some challenging ones, but what was most important were the lessons that came with each project. And the people I met. Some turned out to be good friends that I continue working with over and over.... and others, well, it would really be ok if I never saw them again. But I have to say the latter is an almost non-existent list. Ha. Thank God!

And then I started turning things down here and there. But I had such guilt when I did this, and fear that I wouldnt find more work. Hindsight, this is all part of the process of being a creative soul. Trusting that there is always more.

These days I feel confident that I can make good choices about where I spend my time. And NOT feel guilty. Ok, maybe a little guilt, but not enough to make me take something my heart is not into. My choices must have heart. I trust the inner voice that tells me "yes" or "no." And I do my best not to get logical about it - it is simply something that pulls you toward your yes or your no.

If you are having a hard time deciding something, I recommend getting quiet. Going to a yoga class, meditating, being in nature. You'll get your answer.....