More on my vacation epiphanies later ----
But for now I am procrastinating rereading a script. That is a sure sign that I am not interested in the project. And I would be doing those involved a disservice by taking the part, they deserve someone who is excited. So, I know my answer......
I'm feeling better about my decision to NOT take on work at times. I used to, like most actors first starting out, take (almost) anything that came my way. And there was a time for that - I needed experience back then. And I had some kick ass experiences and some challenging ones, but what was most important were the lessons that came with each project. And the people I met. Some turned out to be good friends that I continue working with over and over.... and others, well, it would really be ok if I never saw them again. But I have to say the latter is an almost non-existent list. Ha. Thank God!
And then I started turning things down here and there. But I had such guilt when I did this, and fear that I wouldnt find more work. Hindsight, this is all part of the process of being a creative soul. Trusting that there is always more.
These days I feel confident that I can make good choices about where I spend my time. And NOT feel guilty. Ok, maybe a little guilt, but not enough to make me take something my heart is not into. My choices must have heart. I trust the inner voice that tells me "yes" or "no." And I do my best not to get logical about it - it is simply something that pulls you toward your yes or your no.
If you are having a hard time deciding something, I recommend getting quiet. Going to a yoga class, meditating, being in nature. You'll get your answer.....
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