Plight of An Aries Part 2

Wow. I keep bumping into all these powerful women! Coincidentally, most of them are my Aries sisters.....

Some people have contacted me after reading this blog and said "I hear ya about the Aries thing, I'm an Aries too!" I feel so supported and its true - when you need help you ask and people will magically appear to support your cause and help move you forward. So thank YOU!!

I bumped into a woman today at the DUMBO Flea Market. And we started gabbin. As it turns out, she is a dancer/choreographer, has a young daughter, is a yoga enthusiast - AND - that's right, an Aries. We talked about what I've recently coined the "plight of the Aries woman," we are confident leaders and creators. But our biggest inner struggle is chasing 20 projects at once - and it often leads to being exhausted or frustrated and the incompletion of ANYTHING, or even worse, a combo of all the above. I struggle with the notion of whether or not to do something about it, like - GASP - focus on one thing at a time. OR just accept that this is simply how I am and to try to love myself completely, 20 projects and all, anyway. :)

This new friend also said that lately, with the coming of spring, she's particularly susceptible to wanting to do everything at once. There's all this energy riveting through her that needs to be released.

Indeed.

That's why I practice yoga and write, it cools my fiery Aries waters.

Yesterday I spoke to my college friend who now lives in Seattle. Aries. Same thing. Claims she's "not sure what she's doing with her life." So she says. That's another Aries trait: seemingly appears to have it all together on the outside, on the inside is on the verge of a meltdown at any given moment. We're prone to sudden outbursts and I believe its why we girls need an outlet and we need other strong women in our lives. This outlet can be so many things: writing (hello!??), performing, drawing, teaching, caring for a child, cooking, gardening, kickboxing, painting, or simply gabbing with your girls (my personal favorite).

Without an outlet, all this unreleased, bundled up energy turns into anger, feelings of self-loathing, jealousy, pettiness and/or feelings of dissatisfaction.

So, girls, (sorry fellas....) in short, we really need each other. If you are feeling overwhelmed or frustrated or tired - relax (yoga??) - You're fortunate to have that yearning inner voice within you. It's probably your inner Aries needing to be channeled into something beautiful!

So get to it - XOXO M

Creating Your Own Universe

I have a group of actors I've put together and we are starting to meet, for now, once a month on Monday nights. We started reading plays - I feel its SO IMPORTANT to know your playwrights! This Monday, a couple of folks have written short films, so we'll read those too.

So far, everyone in McDonald's is safe....

Gotta have girlfriends!

What would I do without my girls??

I'm very lucky to have many powerful women in my life: from childhood, high school, college, my early days in New York and several rockin' actresses and female directors. My girls live all over the world, back home and right here in NY. I love it!

In this biz, YOU MUST be sure you have a strong inner circle of friends - who lift you up when you are down and tell you how terrific they think you are - especially when they know you need to hear it - and that you can happily do the same for them. Ones who cheer you on when something good happens, dont get jealous, celebrate your victories with you as though it were their own. It is! You hear a lot of critique from others about yourself in this line of work constantly, from your talent to your physicality and you really have to be able to detach from it and not invest your entire reason for existence on what some agent or casting director said (or didnt say) about you. If there is one really important thing I've learned, beauty AND talent are all in the eye of the beholder......

Which brings me to another juicy quote: "Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." ---Mark Twain

That is why I love my friends C & O - I saw them both today, O is helping me work my monologues, and with C - we just have fun plotting our careers together, keeping each other lifted up, and basically gabbin.' ;) They make me feel like I am great!

Feeling a little frazzled today. Like I need a day to take off, do some yoga, laugh, hang with friends, maybe even go to an art exhibit or something along those lines. Hubby and I keep saying we are going to take a day or two off soon, but we cant seem to make it happen bw our projects, class, auditions, work, da dee da da.......

Really want to find a cool project to work on and to meet some new people. Oh, and a vacation would be nice. Hubby and I keep talking about how we are really missing Berlin lately (our second home). Hell, I know when I start feeling like this, all I need is to pick up with my yoga practice and to do some meditation. I did meditate a little this am - but my mind was so all over the place that I came to the conclusion that I need a yoga class more than anything to quiet my mind, so that I CAN sit.

This week was slow for auditioning. But it ebbs and flows. I had 2 that I did not end up going to for various reasons. Still feeling something gnawing at me, like I have some unfinished business to take care of. Yes, I know, the one person piece is, for sure. I just dont know if I can justify taking the class right now, as I am not working and watching my last paycheck disappear.....ahhhhhh!!!

Sent off my tape for the Chris Columbus audition this morning! :) I would love to book this part and get to work with him!!! My manager looked over the tape and was happy - and she's not an easy customer - so fingers crossed!

Onward and UP!

M

Livin in an Amish Paradise

Last week I went to the Verizon store bc my cell phone died. Again.

I wanted them to charge it up for me while I ran some errands. I gave the girl my phone and she started giggling.

"What?" I said.

"It's just (giggle giggle) so cute. Ah look, wow, its doesnt even say Verizon Wireless, it just says Verizon. Wow! Ha Ha."

At this point a couple of other employees gathered round to see my mysterious wonder.

"Wow, this thing still works?" one of them asked.

"Uh, yeah, I mean, it did until now."

"I'll just put it right here," she said. "oh, actually it doesnt really matter, no one is going to (ha ha) try to steal this."

"You all can kiss my ass!" I said, as I winked at them a sashayed out the store with my sassy self.

And that's me in a nutshell, as far as technology goes. I'm kind of a grandma. Last to get a cell phone, dont own a microwave, dont even want to know anything about Twitter, just learned what a Wii was like 2 months ago. (why would anyone do yoga with a Wii instead of going to an actual class?? I dont understand.....). Hell, the fact that I have a Facebook page is pretty astounding. I prefer film over digital. Home-made over mass produced. I can barely make my way through Word and the other programs? Forget it! I like writing letters - so I tend to write long emails. I prefer HUMAN contact, so I leave long voice messages in place of that. I hate texting, but I do it anyway. And Smackberry's? Well, I just dont think I'm ready for that.

So, when I walked in today with my new phone, with the ability to check emails (it was getting really old running into Kinko's all the time) - I got a "welcome to the modern world comment" from the hubby.

So send me an email - I'll send you one back from my shiney, NEW cell phone. I feel so cutting edge! :)

A Request....

I'm putting this out there so the universe will provide: (I know, I know so new-agey of me)

How can I make a comfortable living in the arts?

I've started looking for ANOTHER part time job (I got laid off 3 weeks ago from a part time gig), but the truth is: I don't want another one. I want to earn my living and provide for my family through my acting/producing/writing endeavors. And I know I can.

So, hit me universe, powers that be! Show me the way!!!

The Plight of an Aries

Yelled at the husband last night for "not being supportive" about my one woman piece! But once I calmed down (oy!) I realized, he had a point. I'm taking an audition class right now and working with O on my monologues and auditioning as much as possible. My goal was to really get good at auditioning. To get over that discomfort. If one ever REALLY does.

(According to an article I read recently with Penelope Cruz - you never get over the fear and insecurity)

He also reminded me that I started directing and shooting my own film in the fall that I never finished......(sigh....)

It's part of my Aries plight - to take on TOO MUCH at once and have TOO MANY pots on the burner - how does the phrase go? A jack of many trades, an expert at none?

So, with that in mind, I'm giving it a couple days to really consider if I have the time to add a solo class to my schedule. And if I dont do it right away, I WILL get to it. Feel free to remind me.

I just need to find a place to express myself. All the work I'm doing lately, becoming a stronger auditioner, is very technical. I told husband this and said "if I dont find a place to express myself and take a risk, I'll end up one of those people who goes into McDonald's and shoots everyone!!"

Ok, I'm all talk, no bite. I would probably just go in and yell at everyone instead. :)

On the agenda today: Looking for ways to make money (acting only, please!). Going to game plan reaching out to a couple of agencies. Monologue work. (my ultimate avoidance)

Auditions, auditions, auditions!

Today I got up, did some yoga, meditated (sorta....) and started working on my audition sides for class tonight. I really feel like I'm learning a lot and my coach is fantastic - very funny man. Hubby is in this class too. And the people in this class are terrific. We tape ourselves running our sides, getting direction, rerunning them over and over. Then you get a DVD to take home and watch yourself and its such a cool learning process and I'm already seeing results.

I'd sent in an audition on tape for a new Chris Columbus (Harry Potter, Stepmom, Home Alone) film that is casting on the west coast - it was a great part and I really enjoyed working on it. Well, as is OFTEN the case with things I audition for, they have decided to go with a NAME. (really? again???) Ah well. BUT - they liked me enough that they did ask me to put myself on tape for another, super brief part. And I know that's a really good sign. :)

Last Friday I had a very cool learning day. I had 4 auditions and it was great to get out there and really flex my auditioning muscles. The first was for an indie short that I would LOVE to book. The writing was fantastic and I really liked the director and writer. I connected easily to the character and the story, and when that happens, all you have to do is step out of your own way and let the character "move" through you. I felt really good about that one. The second was for an indie feature I really knew nothing about. I hardly looked at the sides - I was playing a stiff corporate type, which isnt hard for me. So that was just fun to go in and trust myself and take direction. I even surprised myself and got a laugh. The third was the biggie: HBO pilot. What was interesting about this was noticing the differences bw this one and the first two. The stakes are a lot higher with these types of auditions, and you could slice the tension in the waiting room with a knife. I've also noticed actors in this situation dont really seem to talk to one another - but look at each other like "hello, competition - you're going down!!" I was much more nervous going in for this and I could really feel the difference - its so much easier to work when you are not so nervous! But I felt it went well - they had me read the sides like 6 times, which is generally a good sign. And finally, the last was an NYU student film. Didnt really feel I fit the character - she was more of a college girl - but I went anyway. Its good to get out there and meet as many people as possible.......

Now, I know I need to find some time on my calendar to do some marketing - to let casting directors and agents know about my Ugly Betty and Chris Columbus callbacks. Also, about the reading I'm doing in April at the Actor's Studio.....

A Word About Fear

AAHHHHHH!

There's something I REALLY need to face.

I started a one woman piece, oh, like 2 years ago. And never finished it. It got a little too hot in the kitchen, a lot of personal stuff started to come up and looking back now, well, I ran. I do that a lot - its the Aries trait to start and not finish and I'm highly aware of it, to the point that it frustrates me.

There's a book that has become my Bible - "The War of Art." And it says that "the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it. So if you are paralyzed with fear, its a good sign. It shows you what you have to do."

So I'm beginning to listen to this and face my fears.

I'm terrified. And kind of excited too. So I just emailed a guy I know who teaches a class in which you create your own solo piece. A good step toward facing my fear. Seeing a couple of solo pieces this past Friday night was the big slap on the head. Like, oh yeah, THAT.

I am not a WUSS. So, here I go. Say a prayer for me, please.....!! :)

Beginnings....

Geez, I've been so back and forth as to whether or not I should write a blog with details of my creative happenings - thinking "who the heck cares??" But something keeps pulling at me and I feel I have to listen to that. Like one of my favorite quotes says:

Gaze into the fire, into the clouds and as soon as the inner voices start to speak.....surrender to them. Do not ask first whether its permitted or would please your teachers or father or some god. You will ruin yourself if you do that......

And maybe by reading this, it will help another actor navigate the world of film/TV/theater a little better? That is my hope.....

Things have been going well so far this year. I see growth and feel its time to get out there and take some more risks, both creatively and on the biz end of things. I'm auditioning more, meeting more people and went out for pilot season more this year than I have before. I signed with one of the best commercial agents in town in February!

I'm in the midst of shooting a film with my hubby - he wrote and is directing and I'm well, everything else.......AD, cheerleader, co-producer, prop master, I've helped with lighting, dealing with talent and on and on. It's hard work, but we are really loving every minute of it and the footage looks amazing. And we've got a nice group of people we are working with.

I met the casting director of Ugly Betty for the first time yesterday! I decided a couple of weeks ago I wanted to do this, so I started renting the DVD's and watching and its really funny. I've been missing out. And now the rumor is the show might get cancelled. Oy.

Anyway, I was called in to audition in the morning - and then asked to come back that afternoon to meet the director. When I came back - they had girls of every type there for this role: black, blonde, Russian, Indian. We could have been a Bennetton ad. So who knows? But it was great to get into that door! Very grateful for that. And they were all super nice.

ok - I'm off to go buy a book filled with "action" words for my monologue work I'm doing with my friend and terrific actress O, then to volunteer at a local theater. And bringing my lines with me to learn for tomorrow's audition class....FUN!