It's a $&*#&$&* Process!

This last week has been really intense!

Mostly with dealing with my upcoming solo show. Boy, the fears have been eating at me. I realized what this was about: I'm an Aries. We are impatient. I want to get down to business, get to the finish line, NOW.

But with all things we create, it takes TIME. It is a PROCESS. I used to hate it when my teachers would say in acting class, "well, its a process." I was like, "fuck, what the hell does that mean? Just tell me what I need to do and I'LL DO IT!" And I would storm off frustrated at my shortcomings as an actress.

Ha. Thank God I have a little more patience and love for my craft these days! And a director I'm working with who is amazing, soooo brilliant and nurturing!

I see real growth. I'm at a point where yes, process and not knowing what's next does still freak me out.....but not to the point that I cannot function. (like it did before) I can take direction without beating myself up over it like I use to. I know creation is a process and I have more of an understanding of that these days through experience. I definitely see it in my work and in rehearsals - I dont take it personally like I use to.

As my Italian acting coach would say: "Tanka God-ah!"

Other than dealing with my patience/impatience....I've had to balance my time really well. And be sure I am eating and exercising and having some down time - its easy to let that go when you get crazed - and its SO IMPORTANT not to! I am producing this show too, so there's been lots of stuff on that end, letting people know about the show.......etc etc.

And then the film I starred in that won a fest - there was an awards party I had to go to. Which was actually really fun - got to see some of the old cast and crew - and even bumped into some other actors I've worked with before on other projects.

Its been an intense week. But a really good one. Great to see some of my hard work paying off - but having its own set of challenges at the same time to. Its been great for me to see that even when things seem to be going really well....its no friggin cake walk. All the more the reason to be sure you surround yourself with loving, positive people. No time for downers here......