So, so much to share here.....I met with a really good casting director yesterday for a role in a TV pilot. I must say, I knocked that audition out of the ballpark! I felt really good about leaving a nice, strong impression. I also got a callback for my most recent film audition (playing the bulimic, self-absorbed glamor-gal). That audition is next week so I have some time to work on it. I think we found a composer for our film ("The Bridge") - we watched a Swedish film recently that was really good called "Let the Right One In," and we contacted the composer and it looks like he's going to work with us!!
I had my first writing class a couple of nights ago --- I walked to it with dread - pretty much dreading it all day.....but I was at least aware of what was going on (yep, f-e-a-r). I was really judging what I'd written that I was going to have to share with the whole group. Thinking how dumb it all probably sounded, what a stupid topic I'd chosen to write about, who cares what I have to say anyway, etc, etc, etc. At least I have the insight to know that its just doubt and to carry on anyway.....I was well aware of what was happening, but still feeling paralyzed, doubtful and vulnerable.
But - to my pure delight.....the class is fantastic! So supportive and my piece was well received - I discovered, while I thought I had nothing, I am really off to a great start and now that the ball is rolling I cant wait to sit down and write and I look forward to each class. The teacher and students are awesome! I have to remind myself, though, that even when you have a moment in your work that seems like you've hit a wall or that is not so "victorious," there is great lesson in that too. Its not all about the "wins." (although the wins sure feel good -- )
We saw John Leguizamo's one man show last night. What a funny, firey Latino man. Ha ha. He talked a lot about his career - which I wasnt expecting - and it was funny to hear the highs and lows and to realize that everyone in the biz has them - at every level of the game. We're all hustling to some degree. He talked about how he hated working with Kurt Russell, all the films he did that were terrible, the ones that were really great, the times he chose to work "for the sake of art, to tell stories about the human condition," and the times he chose to work purely for money. It was especially funny to hear about the time that he'd been hired to do a major role that was actually reduced to one scene, with him wearing a mask and his being voice dubbed. Ouch! Yep, I feel ya John, I feel ya......
I watched some interview footage of Nicole Kidman - who just might be my favorite actress. I love the roles she's chosen to play - I think she's been very smart and she's worked with all the great directors - Kubrick, Von Trier, Luhrman (my favorite director), etc.....everyone wants to work with her! What I loved that she mentioned was that sometimes when you are working on a character - you feel like you dont have it. But the thing is, is that you cannot force it. She showed up to rehearsals for The Hours feeling like she didnt "have it." And there was that part of her that was like "oh shit!" But there was also that part of her that knew that she couldnt force anything. I was so relieved to hear this. I've definitely had those "oh shit" feelings, and I probably did push out of panic. But now I know its ok to feel that way and the trick is to TRUST that you WILL GET WHERE YOU NEED TO BE. (as it is with life.....) The latter is the toughy for me -- but I look forward to the opportunities I'll have to experience that trust. What a glorious day that will be!
;)
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