Callback

I went to my callback for that feature a couple of days ago - its for a part I'd love to get - so there was more pressure....I find that at a first audition I'm getting to where I'm pretty comfortable (unless its for a major network - I get real nervous about those - even if its for a smaller part - dont know how to get over that other than try try try again....)

I really worked this piece with hubby and my audition coach. I wanted to knock it out of the ballpark. My feeling on my auditions in general, is that I want to feel that I "knocked it out of the ballpark," and the rest is up to the casting gods. Out of my hands. But as long as I know I really did the best I could - I'm ok with it and I can let it go. Ok, well, 85% of me can let it go. Ha ha.

As I rode over on the subway, I could literally feel the nerves starting to kick in and I thought "oh no!!!" But I know its bc I really wanted it. As I walked toward the building where the audition was taking place I felt that my breath getting shallow, muscles were tensing a.k.a : I was nervous. Shit! This hasnt happened in a while!

Even in the elevator, I felt everything tightening, all my impulses starting to harden and shut down. And that's when I was like "Michelle, get it together, girl! Relax.....ok now breath. There you go. No big deal. And you know this stuff - so its gonna be ok. But you cant knock it out of the ballpark if you start to shut down!! Yes, keep breathing, keep releasing. There you go....."

So that little internal pep talk helped. Sometimes nerves can help an audition, depending on the character. Not this one (shit!). She's confident, in control and sure of herself (at least she thinks she is) in a "too cool for school" kind of way. i.e. - she's NOT nervous! Once I signed in, I started walking around, as the character - I had on these great heels that help me connect to her. Sometimes you can "find the character" through something as simple as that - a piece of clothing, a walk, a gesture, knowing the archtype. I somehow jumped into "super confident" mode because I had no choice.

And the audition went really well. There were 3 people in the room and they were cracking up through a lot of it. (good sign) I met the director who was really sweet - everyone was so nice and it seemed like it would be a fun set to be on. And I'm more of a drama girl - so doing a comedy would be a nice change. Sooooo - we shall see - but the golden rule to auditioning is you let it go as soon as you walk out that room - again, its up to the casting gods.....

Onward and upward!