Out of the Fog and Into the Light

Man, I've learned a lot about the way I operate in recent days. When I need to make a change in my life, I fall into despair (clinging to old habits). I get depressed and angry - then I need to talk to some of my girlfriends about it. Sort it out. Bless these women!!! Lucky, lucky me.

Then I have to let whatever it is I'm clinging onto go - completely. I usually let go out of being tired or too frustrated by whatever it is that is bothering me. This whole process takes me about 10 days.

Its more of an exorcism.

But then change can happen.

Sure, I wish I had an easier, quicker, more laid back way of going about it. But this is who I am. And fortunately, I have a partner and friends who love all of me - the relaxed, chill Michelle and the crazy lunatic Michelle. One is really not better than the other - all parts of a whole (me) - and I learn from both parts of myself.

I'm just glad that I have it in me to make changes when I need to. Even when I don't want to at first.

In this biz, you have to have a thick skin. The more opportunities you have to audition, the more opportunities you have to work. And the more opportunities you have to come so close to booking - to then not get the job, and its usually for reasons out of your control. Dealing with audition opportunities that do not bear fruit (in that you don't get the job) can be tough. You must be able to see the value in simply going to an audition. For starters, they called you in and didn't call in a lot of other people. You get to meet new people. Work on your craft. Get more comfortable each time you audition.

BUT --- the reminder I've had through all of this, is that you must create your own work - in order to be sure you get to express yourself. You cannot wait to be hired for someone else's project to do this. It's too important! And in our own hands......

And then you have to let it go. And be sure acting is not the most important thing to you. That you have other hobbies, things to talk about, friends outside of the biz.

So, I'm really grateful for these exorcisms! :) After all the fog - clarity is right around the corner.