High times, low times

Yay!

Found out today I booked the lead in an indie film. The one I wanted. It's being workshopped at Columbia University - so I was told I got the part and then immediately joined the workshop to start working on the part. What a cool learning experience. We went through the final scene once, and the teacher gave notes that were great and spot on, gave me a lot to think about and we went back through it again - was totally different the second time. And it was a really great exercise in me simply trusting myself, even though I hadnt worked on it really that much - to just jump in and go for it. That's something that keeps coming up - I keep discovering the more I am relaxed and trust myself, the better performance I can give. It is getting much easier for me to do this and I think this comes with experience, both on set/stage and off (in classroom). Falling down and getting back up, feeling like you are banging your head against the wall until finally something clicks. :)

I'm a big advocate of the classroom. Its where you can work your chops and fall down and learn how to get back up again. You learn to be humble after falling down over and over again. You watch other people work who have more experience and you learn from them. You see someone just starting out, and it helps you see how far you've come. And you learn from them too. It helps get you over the fear of being vulnerable in front of others, you learn to claim your space and your confidence really grows. And its a great place to work on pieces you've always wanted to explore - instead of sitting around and hoping you'll get hired for it. Not to mention that it helps keep you in the mix, talking to other actors/directors, learning about what's out there, what auditions are going on etc etc. You grow in every way and its just nice to be around like-minded people.

So, I'm having a high time right now. Nothing makes you feel better than to book a part you want. Last week I was having a low time. It ebbs and flows. And there will be more high times, and more low times too - no escaping it. For any of us. I think the balance is becoming more and more okay with this, recognizing that nothing is permanent. You have moments when you are hot, and moments when you are not. And you gotta be ok with the hot, and the not.

Ok - am doing a screenplay reading at the Actor's Studio tomorrow night and next Tues night too. Gotta reread the material again....