I was feeling down and I realized it was because a lot of people hadnt gotten back to me on some things I was waiting on. Mostly a couple of mentors hadnt responded to help I wanted about my solo show, I was feeling really overwhelmed and scared at the thought of taking the show further. Like fuck. How am I gonna do this?? A director I met that I want to meet up with in Berlin hadnt responded to me, I missed the deadline for a festival I was wanting to get into and was waiting to hear if I could submit late, and so on....
And I realized that this too is part of the kind of life I want to live. Along come the downs, and then there are ups and then downs again. I was simply in a "down." And feeling really really uncomfortable about continuing on with my show. I was to go that night to a certain organization to pitch my show - seeking help, and it was really the last thing I felt like doing. I wanted to go home and crawl under my covers and hide. But I knew I'd never forgive myself for doing this - and if I was so uncomfortable and scared - well, its something I surely need to face.
So I went.
And a woman came up to me afterwards and said "your pitch was very real. very honest." And she gave me a lead on a theater that I could pitch my show to. And then someone else came up to me and gave me another lead......and so on.....
I left this meeting feeling really really inspired. It was just the pick me up I needed - to see familiar faces in my artistic community, to reconnect with them - to listen to other people's pitches - to hear about what is going on outside of my "solo show bubble." :)
I turned on my ipod, listening to my Michael Jackson tunes. And I felt happy. I was walking down the streets of Chinatown smiling to myself. That meeting had lifted me up!
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