Where the Help in Dealing With My Fears Came From -

My yoga class.

My teacher talks about dealing with your fears and living uncomfortably all the time. And living fully.

Gosh I dont even know how long I've been going to this class. A couple of years?? And these days I have only 3 teachers I'll go to. I am picky these days about who I take class with, bc for me its very much a spiritual practice. My religion. Where I go to sort myself out.

I'd been wanting to tell my teacher about my show....bc he had so much to do with me doing it, really. He's helped me to look my fears in the face. But each time after class, he always has a crowd of people standing around, wanting to talk to him.....and I felt like such a groupie with my postcard in hand wanting to share it with him. So alas I never did..... :(

But the other day, with only one show left, BEFORE class I had the opportunity and I ceased it. And it felt really good to share this moment with him. I realized it wasnt even about inviting him, "filling a seat" in the theater.....it wasnt about that at all. I didnt even have a postcard to give him - I didnt talk about the material or when it was happening and I didnt even invite him (lord knows he probably gets invited to tons of stuff). None of that stuff mattered at that moment. I told him how I was doing this show, and so much of the reason why I was able to do it was bc I'd been going to his classes. How his classes helped me to look my fears in the face, and how scared I was each time I went on. But I did it anyway.

And he said...."ah, you are out there representing --- " :)

It was a moment of pure connection with someone I dont really know that well but who has given me so much......we arent "friends" or anything like that.....I suppose we are kindred spirits in that we try to deal with fear daily - to look it in the face -- and to keep moving toward it, instead of hiding from it and going for what's most comfortable.