I've spent this time marketing the show: sending info to casting directors, managers (I am courting a new manager), reminding friends and peers (Facebook, email, texting, calls....), hanging posters around the city, laying out postcards, etc.....
Oh, and finally opening our big pile of mail and paying bills.
Now I am slowly dipping back into performance mode. I go up again day after tomorrow. So I spent tonight running lines, walking through the piece. And yes of course the fear is there - will I be able to do it again? what if I'm not emotionally available, what if "they" dont like it, dont like me, etc......all that stuff.
So I remind myself that this is all part of it. This fear. Fear of hitting your mark (or not). And I know I need to slow down, turn my producer's brain off and allow myself to "sink" back into the piece. Find the characters. Find my trust in that I am enough. I have done enough for this piece. I dont have to push. I just have to trust myself 100%. And basically, turn on some good preparation music and chillax.....the producing part of this has to come to and end so the performer can take over.
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